Anything Goes

No I Won't Be Your 'Little Freak,' But I'm Sure I Know Someone Who Will

2010-04-14T01:47:00.003-04:00

Usher is officially done. Seriously. After his last disastrous release. Raymond v. Raymond needed to be a groundbreaking piece of R&B-tinged pop perfection. Instead he delivered a tepid collection of semi-catchy but generally soulless songs.

There are, of course, a few bright spots on the album. But there's a problem when all of the standouts are "guilty pleasures." Little Freak is one of the albums most alluring cuts. Polow Da Don and Esther Dean's production and songwriting respectively, combined with one of the most unlikely Stevie Wonder samples you could ever imagine make an all-around great track.

But from the first listen, something about the song struck me as disconcerting.

There's the chorus.

If you're fu**ing with me

Really fu**ing with me you go get some girls and bring them to me

if you fu**in with me

Really fu**ing with me you let her put her hands in your pants

be my little freak

The chorus is in and of itself is problematic, but it is so unremarkable it hardly warrants close attention.

The trope of male choice of multiple partners in highly sexualized contexts is in no way new to music; however, it is Nicki Minaj's presence as a sexual intermediary which complicates the matter.

I really like your kitty cat
and if you let me touch her
I know you're not a bluffer
I'll take you to go see usher

The problem lies not in her sexual orientation, but her willingness to play into the bisexual fantasies of male onlookers wherein women are objects. Nicki Minaj leaps at the opportunity to capitalize her purposely ambiguous sexuality.

This too wouldn't have registered as blip on my radar had I not understood the background of Nicki's public sexual identity.

Throughout her short career, Nicki Minaj has faced speculation about her sexual preference. Many anonymous bloggers contend Nicki nee Onika Maraj, once an out of the closet lesbian, has chosen to mitigate her identity in order fit into the narrow mold of acceptable oversexed expression carved out by rap's most successful artist of the past 15 years, Lil Kim.

Kim/Nicki comparison aside. This is not empowerment. Nicki, arguably the hottest personality in hip-hop, has been reduced to playing the role of willing pawn in a game wherein Usher is king. She is, in effect, the prostitute sent by her pimp to lure an unsuspecting victim into their sexual trap.

The song and video clearly send two interrelated messages. Homosexual interactions are only acceptable when mediated by someone of the opposite gender. Furthermore, female pleasure is irrelevant as long as the men involved are satisfied.

Let's be clear. Usher is not talking about adventurous sexual behaviors within the confines of a level, mutually-beneficial sexual relationship (which I'm all for). This is pure, unabashed sexual exploitation.

Lemme Hold $5: Why Black Women Continually Come Up Short

2010-04-13T17:55:00.007-04:00

Black women do not save. That is, of course, unsurprising considering the American culture of consumption has transformed into a culture of debt [1]. But it just so happens that structural racism has made partaking in this culture all the more costly for Black communities.

A few weeks ago, the Post Gazette featured a study that explored into the racial wealth gap in the United States. This time, researchers analyzed the fiscal divisions through a gendered lens. The findings told what we already knew: Whites (this time women) control the overwhelming majority of wealth in the United States.

The writeup, titled “Study Finds Median Wealth for Single Black Women at $5” (an obvious attempt to capitalize off of the mainstream media's obsession with the pathology of Black women.), wasn't perfect [2]. But the fact remains: the economic structure of this country combined with the financial illiteracy of Black women promise us certain financial doom.

Countless blogger and armchair economist questioned the study as well as the motives behind it, but these findings should inspire some serious self-reflection. As a 21 year-old, my negative net worth is typical for a woman of any racial background [3]. These studies, however, do force me contemplate the ways in which my current risky fiscal behaviors may be setting me up for a shaky financial future despite my middle-class upbringing and world-class education.

And that box of economic dysfunction is not too difficult to unpack. Why spend spend the money in the first place? What prompts women like you and me to live life on the edge of financial ruin?

Not to ignore the very real structural impediments to the development of wealth in black communities, but according to KK Charles (2007) blacks could shrink the wealth gap by as much as 50% if we eliminated what he calls “visible consumption.”

This is an issue that cuts to the very heart of Black womanhood. Black women literally wear their insecurities. An oppressive economic structure cannot be blamed completely. Continued attacks on black women produce consumer culture that has an especially devastating affect on the emotional and financial well-being of all Black women.

As the media has been so quick to point out, it's hard being a black woman. We're continually told we're too fat or too thin, too dark or too light, too picky or too easy. Black women have yet to succumb to the victimology that MSM tries to map onto us, but it is time that Black women grabbed the reigns of our economic destiny.

Changing The Channel

Black women cannot afford to be passive consumers of the media we are presented. Constant critical analysis of the way we're represented in MSM is essential to developing a sense of self-worth in an unsympthathetic society. BET is an easy target; however, the brazen materialism and misogyny that many young women have become keen to consume provide examples of the ways that we've internalized the negative images that we have been force fed since birth.

However, reprogramming requires more than a rejection of the degrading music, videos, and film we encounter daily. It demands a new understanding of how we view the problem.

It's time that we realize the repercussions of conspicuous consumption don't confine themselves to innercity housing projects. Much maligned is the black woman who will spend $500 on her weave but can't pay her light bill. We ridicule these women. We scorn them for their unrespectable behavior, but at the end of the day, we are these women. No matter how we may justify our spending sprees, few of us can afford to throw our money away. But old habits are hard to break.

What Are We Teaching Our Daughters?

I resist the temptation to blame entirely the designer-clad booty shakers on BET for our financial peril. These are issues that began long before Bob Johnson's Frankenstein hit the airwaves. Studies show that bad financial behaviors are learned [4], so I'd venture to say that the majority of us who can't balance a checkbook grew up with parent's whose bank accounts, for one reason or another, were consistently overdrawn.

I am proud of most of the things I've received from my mom: her sense of humor, her love of music, her good genes that will keep me looking 35 when I am well into my 50s. But from her I also learned that worthwhile women pay meticulous attention to their appearance. That same voice that has me reaching for a mirror 10 times a day also has me reaching for my debit card as soon as I see a pair of shoes that would match perfectly with my new dress.

Before young girls are able to set priorites for themselves, we determine them. So let's teach eachother that we don't have to wait for a man to acknowledge our beauty. Everyday should be a celebration of Black womanhood. That includes abstaining from participation in a celebrity culture which delights in dissecting the flaws of female celebrities.

Mental stability and health are inextricable linked to that of our bank accounts. We as black women will never be able to close the dreaded wealth gap if we don't first take time to learn about ourselves as well as the costs and consequences of reckless spending. Not only for ourselves but for our communities.

1. "Why can't Americans save a dime? - MSN Money." Personal Finance and Investing - MSN Money. http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/savinganddebt/savemoney/p145775.asp.
2. Ta-nehisi Coates does a characteristically brilliant job problematizing the Post's presentation here.
3. The most stunning findings measure the wealth of single women between the ages of 36 and 45.
4. "Parents Offer Key to Children's Financial Well-being." http://uanews.org/node/25529

Obama Continues To Sidestep Direct Action on Employment Disparities

2010-04-13T10:48:00.004-04:00

Yes. Yes. I know. Obama "can't be the president of black America; he is the president of all Americans." But America should be ashamed of its acceptance of the ongoing economic exclusion of Black Americans. Barack Obama should be chastised for his blatant neglect of the issue.

I'm sick and tired of seeing statistics like these:

While overall employment in March stood at 9.7 percent, some 16.5 percent of African-Americans were unemployed. A staggering 41.1 percent of African-Americans between 16 and 19 years of age are unemployed, based on the March numbers, while 19 percent of adult African-American men and 12.4 percent of adult African-American women are facing unemployment. With the exception of the unemployment rate for teenagers, those seasonally adjusted numbers were up over February statistics, even as white unemployment stayed the same. (Source)

Unsurprisingly, Blacks are not only unemployed at higher rates, but they are jobless for longer periods.

The typical period of unemployment, while always higher for African-Americans, is now at nearly 24 weeks, compared to just 18.4 weeks for white workers. And the report found that nearly 45 percent of unemployed African-Americans have been so for more than 27 weeks.

In the face of these staggering statistics, President Obama remains committed to middle-of-the-road stance on, well, basically every racial matter to date. In 2009, he had this to say about the current economic situation.

We know that the African-American unemployment rate, the Latino unemployment rate are consistently higher than the national average. And so, if the economy as a whole is doing poorly, the African-American community is going to be doing poorly, and they’re going to be hit harder. The best thing that I can do for the African-American community, the Latino community, the Asian community, whatever community is to get the economy as a whole moving.

Sure. Because that's worked so well before...
More and more I'm starting to believe that Obama is one of those "cowards" to which Attorney General Holder referred.

For those overly concerned with the implications of explicitly racial policy (as if the American economic system were itself decracialized), seemingly race neutral solutions have been proposed like this one from Dean Baker of the Center for Economic Policy Research.

They could focus on areas where unemployment rates are above 20 percent or something, and get money for job creation to areas like Detroit, which employment is just falling through the floor.”

Well that makes perfect sense doesn't it?

Educated Men Are The Biggest Assholes

2010-03-28T21:10:00.010-04:00

I chose Harvard because I love to intellectualize, and I love being around people who love intellectualize. Pointless conversations don't exist. I take something away from every interaction I engage in.

Growing up around the compassionate conservatives of suburban Texas/Oklahoma has taught me the value of alternative viewpoints. I never discount someone's intelligence or motives simply because they don't agree with me. I reserve my venom for the unabashedly xenophobic and the willfully ignorant.

There was a recent exchange on an email list I'm on about Jill Scott's column for Essence on interracial dating. I expected tempers to flare because lets face it: Ivy League Male is to White Girls as Tyler Perry is to Big Black Peen, but I wasn't expecting this.

A Harvard Business School graduate came up with these gems.

according to the US Census 2000, 91% of black men that are married are married to BW. So I don't know where these assumptions about BM not prefering BW come from. probably from some insecure BW who isn't getting any, so she blames WW to make her feel better

Ummm ok.

Then came this:

Men date women who like them. PERIOD. So when you think back to the black men you have dissed in your lifetime, you can't get mad when he turns around and dates a woman of another race. What black men in his right mind( who is an alpha male, smart, got cheese) is going to chase a bunch of women who don't like him? thats the dumbest shit in the world. and I love it how black women think they can DICTATE to black men exactly who they should and should not be attracted to.

Hate to break it to BW, but WE DICTATE WHAT IS ATTRACTIVE, NOT YOU.

WHAT is he talking about? Do you follow? Because I don't.

But here's the best one.

what metric r u using to quantify successful bm and which women they choose? just anecdotal comments from your girlfriends about the fine brother across the street they saw with a latina is not evidence that most successful BM choose non BW. the facts are that 91% of BM marry BW and thats only what matters. what sense does it make to worry about 9% of men (which is a really small absolute number) of men who are already married and who u probably wouldn't meet anyway?

BW have all the opportunities to meet successful BM cuz they go to elementary school, high school, college, and they work with them at companies across america. however, if u dont choose them, but instead u choose athletes and drug dealers to have babies with, whose fault is that? not the BM who knows how to read..he was always there..u have to choose the brother while he was on the come up, then when he gets successful he will wife u up. look at what white women and asian women do. it might help u learn a lot.

N&*@* what?

I found these comments to be so disgustingly offensive that I just had to respond. Here's what I wrote.

It took me a long time to calm down long enough to write this email because Aaron's comments are not productive or insightful. They are incendiary.

I am continually perplexed by men who can so easily unleash such vile sentiments. You undoubtedly have a black mother/grandmother/sister/cousin/teacher who at some point raised you, cared for you, loved you, or taught you. The fact that you don't even respect them enough to reconsider a statement like "look at what white women and asian women do. it might help u learn a lot" says more about you than it will ever say about me or any other black woman.

Perhaps Black women get frustrated when they see men dating outside of their race because at the end of the day 1 in 9 black men are in jail. 65% of black children are raised in single parent household. For every 100 degrees awarded to black men, black women are awarded 216. and 42% of black women have never been married.

We are continually left picking up the pieces of communities that are left broken by the absence of Black men. And it is particularly meaningful when black men acknowledge that fact and its reflected in their choice of partner.

So perhaps you don't want to date or even marry a black woman.That's fine. Love is love is love. But at the very least show Black women the same respect and care that they have shown you and yours for all these years.

By the way your assertion that black women should look to white or asian women is nothing new. America's has been telling Black women that they should be anything other than who they are for hundreds of years. That's precisely why some women have such a negative reaction to interracial dating. We hyperbolize because its difficult to separate the real statistics of black male outmarriage (11%) with the constant attacks we suffer on a daily basis.

But Black women are not victims. We are strong, and we are resilient. That's precisely why most of us will never have to lower ourselves to considering a man like you for any sort of relationship.

P.S. I love black men, and I certainly do not fault them for not being able to overcome the varied structural and institutional barriers to their success. But give me a fucking break.

-Kim

I will never understand men who passionately try to defend themselves and their "blackness" while simultaneously disrespecting black women. If you're just not into black girls that's cool (not really), but don't get defensive when someone calls you on your "preference."

Despite all this fuckery, at the end of the day I will always love Black men. I am you, and you are me.

Why I Might Have To Quit The Obama Administration...

2009-08-18T13:50:00.009-04:00

A complete lack of political fortitude.

Say what you will about Dubya, but if he believed in something, he made it happen. He steamrolled his way to victory with far less decisive margins (GOP to Dem), and he did it with far less political capital than Barack Obama.

What we have witnessed in the past 2 or so months is a complete political collapse of the Obama administration regarding healtchare. Initially, they failed to take control of the message, and now they've failed to correct those mistakes in their rebuttals. We're left with a crippled strategy run by those willing to compromise anything necessary to get this one in the "win" column.

You want to talk about alienating the base? Well consider me alienated. What is reform without a public option perfectly.

My television shero, and possibly the smartest woman on tv, Rachel Maddow sums it up.

Friends In My Head: Sy Smith

2009-08-17T22:15:00.000-04:00

In the past month and a half, I have developed an unhealthy attachment to Michael Jackson. An attachment that was utterly nonexistent prior to 6.25.09. I'm sure my bandwagon mourning is not unusual, but I'm an extremist and every sense. So any sort of obsession, especially those that are socially acceptable, is a slippery slop. There are, no doubt, other reasons why the loss of The King of Pop so hard (the most obvious being the recent death of my father at 50), but maybe I'll save that for a later post (subscribe please!).

I really don't know where I am in the stages of grief, but If I had to guess, I'd say I'm somewhere in between complete obsession and self-loathing. Damnit, Michael. I wish I knew how to quit you. I tried to ween myself, but the fount of Michael Jackson mania is everflowing. Withdrawal at this point would be unbearable. Plus I just ordered Jackson Family Values on Amazon, and I know that's just going to lead me further down into my black hole of fanaticism. Anyways, my constant trolling for any and every MJ tribute and video on the internet brought me to my newest friend in my head. Meet Sy Smith.

Soul songstress Sy gets the honor (wait that was too obnoxious. Distinction, maybe?). I admit that sometimes I am a bit embarrassed by my rather transparent musical tastes. Though they are vast and varied, they usually have one thing in common: undeniable mainstream appeal. I, of course, don't like everything on the radio, but the majority of my favorites have at one point have enjoyed some airplay. no music snobbery here. Much like your friendly, neighborhood crackhead, I'm just looking for a hit. That's all I ask.

I digress for the 50/11th time. My neverending search for my new favorite forgotten hit means I often overlook a ton of incredible underground artists like Sy. I came across this video, and I knew Sy and I were meant to be bff. Yeah it's creepy, but I don't care. Watch the video, and you'll understand why we're destined to become friends.
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FYI "Show You The Way To Go" is one of my favorite aural discoveries since Michael's death. It even made it onto my imeem Old School Jams Playlist.

Who She Is...

Name: Sy Smith
Birthday:October 7, 1978
Hometown: New York, NY

Why We're Friends...

She wears black pleather leggings even though she's not stick thin. Betch is fearless. Check the afro, honey.
She's a drama queen. In my world, that's not a pejorative. Leave the Xanax at home if you want to role with me.
She's insanely talented. I believe that If you want to be great, you've got to surround yourself with with greatness.